Star, Nostalgia, and Sky
by Fra ITA
Summary: Just something that came to me in a language, English, that is not mine but the one of the great characters I write about...  Two teenagers, two friends.
1. Chapter 1

**Star, Nostalgia, and Sky**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to BBC Robin Hood. Nope. I have only borrowed my favourite characters…

***takes a deep, deep breath* Ok, ciao everyone! =) I am Fra, I am an Italian girl. Simple as it is, I love Robin Hood****, I have been reading many stories on here, and I have started writing about my favourite characters because it is just impossible for me not to. **

_**What does she think she is doing? Writing in English when English is not her tongue?**_

**Ehm… yes… ****:blushes:, strange as it may seem this short piece of writing came to me in English, not in my mother tongue, I will never know why… **__

**And I am sharing it…**

**This takes place some time when they are in their teens. And friends.**

**I am posting the first part. **

**Thank you if you would give it a go.**

**Well, thank you anyway. **

**=)**

…

You are the first star in the morning

You are my deepest nostalgia

You are the clear sky after the fear to be alone

…

A few words were written in neat handwriting on a small piece of parchment.

She read them as if she could not grasp their meaning, as if they were written in an unknown tongue.

Only three lines were on the parchment, nothing else.

She gave another look behind the table of her bedchamber where she had found it, but there was nothing else. It was weird, finding that parchment behind the table, as if it had been hidden there.

It had happened by chance, while she was trying to move all alone the heavy oak table which stood near the wall. She had wanted to move it somewhere else in her bedchamber. She had managed to move it only by few inches though, it was too heavy, she would ask her father for help… But even with that small movement, the tiny piece of parchment had fallen to the ground.

It was almost two months she had been living in Knighton Hall, in the county of Nottingham. And yet she had just found something she did not know it was there. A piece of parchment with some words on it. Nothing exciting, to tell the truth. They were no clues to find a great treasure nor something amusing or funny. It was… She looked at the words again. Was it some kind of… poetry?

_I wonder who wrote them…_ the girl found herself thinking.

_I wonder who they are dedicated to…_

Her father had briefly mentioned that some trader with his daughter had lived in the house. They had lived there before her father received a letter with the king's seal, a letter ordering him to move to the county of Nottinghamshire because there was an important job waiting for him there. The trader, too, had to move to another town. So, they had found their home.

_Perhaps she, the trader's daughter, wrote this… thing._ The girl shook her head and snorted. "What a silly thing!" she said out loud, addressing to nobody. She was alone in her bedchamber. "To say that someone is a star, or nostalgia, or a sky…" Marian shook her head again, folded the parchment and put it absently in one of her trunks, forgetting about it.

…

"No, Marian. I cannot possibly agree to that".

The man shook his head and she thought if perhaps she had disobeyed him in some way. She asked if that was the reason but the man shook his head again.

"Marian". Her father breathed heavily. "I have been trying to explain this for a long time".

"I do not understand. Tell me why I cannot go with my friend".

She had received an invitation from her friend, two days before. To spend a day with him and other young nobles of the shire. She had been very surprised, at first. She thought he could not stand them because they were all so careless of their villagers, while this was one of his top priorities. He was born in these lands and he cared for them. Deeply.

It was her priority, too, though she had been living in the shire for only six months now. She cared for the villagers.

Indeed, he did not like the other young nobles of the shire but had said he wanted to meet them to check if among them someone shared his ideas. He had told her he had heard some rumours according to which some nobles were starting to question King Richard's right to the throne. Giving the fact that he was never on English soil. He was worried about those rumours. He was most loyal to King Richard. 'If I meet the young nobles of my age, the future lords of Nottinghamshire, I will see if those rumours are right', he had stated. He was faithful that he could speak to them and remind them who they had to be loyal to.

There was a short silence before Marian's father continued. "Had the situation been different I would not have given you the permission even before but I did because we had just got here. I did not want you to feel all alone. I thought about giving you the chance to spend some time with some people of your age, so that you would feel more at ease in a new county. Only for this reason I made that decision, though… it was not proper for a fifteen-year old girl and certainly it is not for a sixteen-year old girl to wander around with a boy…"

"I do not 'wander around with a boy'! I spend some time with a friend! We talk, we visit places, we visit the villagers, we help them!", the girl said, her voice louder, interrupting her father.

"Marian. I require more respect from you".

"I do respect you. Is it a crime that I want to understand your decisions?"

The tall man looked at her, intently. Then closed his eyes.

As he said nothing, Marian pressed. "I could go out with my friend till not so long ago. Now I have just turned sixteen and all of a sudden I can not. It seems everything has suddenly changed. What has happened, father?" She added, speaking slowly, "I happen to have miraculously found a friend. Someone I like spending my time with, someone I can talk to, who lets me speak and does not ignore my opinions. Someone, in fact, who accepts that I may have my own opinions. And even encourages me to believe they are good ones. Someone who looks at me and sees me as I am. A person with her own brain, who thinks before allowing her mouth to speak." _Not like those other stupid noble girls…_ He had never actually _told_ her that but from the way he spoke to her, this was how she was recently starting to feel.

Marian swallowed after her speech. But it was not over. "And _you_ are telling _me_ I can not spend more time with him? Why? Because I am sixteen now? What is different? What has changed?" Marian shook her head. She did not understand her father.

The man looked at her with deep love and concern. His daughter seemed not to understand. He had to be clearer. "Look at you, Marian. You are no girl. You may not have noticed how different you are from the little girl you once were but you are a young woman now. And there are rules. You cannot wander around…" He changed the word, knowing that his daughter did not like that expression. "…spend time with him like you did before. You are no child. He is no child".

"I can not spend my time with him… because I am no child?" she was incredulous. "Why?" she asked, sincerely desperate to know.

"I have said many times, Marian. People will talk".

She had never liked that. _People will talk. What is this supposed to mean? _

She asked that very question out loud.

"Marian. You can not be seen spending time with him alone. You are a noble girl. Any father in my situation could grant a daughter of your age some time together with a young man only if… if he was your betrothed. And even so, someone should be with you".

Marian was in shock. She felt anger inside. Because she could not possibly understand that. Her voice was a whisper when she spoke. "You are only interested in rules. In rules that have to be respected in front of the people. So that you could be proud of yourself. You do not care that I feel good when I am with my friend. I… You said you gave me time to meet people of my age so that I could feel at ease in this place and now… oh Marian, it is over, you have had enough time. I suppose I should lock myself in my room from now on shouldn't I".

Sadness was now filling her. "Marian…" he was saying. She looked the man in front of her in the eyes, speaking slowly again, trying to make him understand. "I have a friend. I just ask to spend some time, some of my time, with him. People will have nothing to gossip about because there is nothing to gossip about. He and I… we are two friends who talk, laugh, argue".

Indeed, they were arguing all the time. He was just so infuriating, there had been no day they had spent together without the two of them discussing or arguing about some thing or the other. But even arguing with him was… part of what make them good friends, Marian realized. "If the other girls prefer to stay quietly in their rooms, go out when they are allowed to and giggle all the time and say stupid things, _I_ do not care." She wanted him to understand. "I am starting to like this place because he does not dismiss me, because it is pleasant to share my opinions with him and listen to him and he shows me the places where he grew up, the forest, the villages… What is wrong in this?"

"Marian…"

The girl did not like begging when she knew what was asking was right. But she did. "He is my friend. I have a friend. Do not take this away. Please".

After a long minute, her father gave her his final reply. "I am not taking your friend away from you. You are my daughter, Marian. You are sixteen years old. I am the new sheriff of Nottingham. My decisions have to be an example for everyone. I am allowing you to go this time. But, I am afraid, it is the last."

She held her gaze while listening. It was the most unfair thing ever. This could not be the end. He can not win this. She needed to find a way. But for now… _Speak no more, Marian. You are angry now. And he said you can go._

"I will leave very early tomorrow" she just said. And she headed towards her bedchamber.

The last time she would spend time with Robin. Her friend Robin.


	2. Chapter 2

2nd part

…

"What a strange idea!"

"Why strange, father? It is rather clever! It is a test" replied the young man next to him, clearly proud.

"You never wanted to spend time with the other young nobles. When I took you with me to visit them you always, always ended up saying 'Hasn't he got anything between his ears?' " The man smiled, at the memory. "So… what made you change your mind?"

"Rumours… I have to check…" the young man answered, rather vaguely and his blue eyes looked down on the floor.

The older man did not add anything. When his son did not want to explain what was on his mind, asking for details was useless.

"Who is coming?" he asked, instead.

"Oh, most of the nobles of my age agreed to come. I did not say much, thought I could make them come by… stimulating their curiosity".

After half a minute he added: "Oh, and Marian".

"Marian?"

"Marian."

Malcolm turned to meet his son's gaze.

"Marian." he repeated. "Why?"

Robin looked at his father as if the question he had just uttered was the silliest.

"Because she is clever."

"She… is a girl."

Robin laughed. "Yes… I can see that".

"Her father… he won't allow her to go to… where are you going to go with the nobles to discuss these things you have not told me?"

"Oh… somewhere near here… not in some stifling room… we will have the meeting in one of the meadows around here…" Robin then asked: "What did you say father, about… her father?"

"Her father… Robin, the sheriff won't allow Marian to come".

"Why?" was the question his son addressed him again.

The answer was uttered quietly and slowly, almost conspiratorially. "She… is a girl. No… how old is she? Sixteen?"

"Yes. Her birthday was three weeks ago."

"She is no girl, then. A young woman I would say".

"And…"

"There is no 'and'…Robin. She won't have the permission to come. Not any more. She won't have the permission to spend time… with you. And you should not ask her to join you" he warned him.

"Why?" Robin repeated. He seemed he was repeating the same question over again.

His father laughed quietly. Didn't his son know? It was obvious.

Robin stood up. "She is my friend" he stated. And for a whole minute neither of them spoke. "Why would her father forbid her to come?" He did not wait for an answer. "She is clever" he repeated. "_She_ definitely has a brain between her ears", he declared, emphasizing the subject of the phrase. "Though I seem to get her mad at me _sometimes_…" he added chuckling and remembering how her friend argued with him about almost everything, "she has to come! She can talk to them, she will have things to say, she will know what to say. We planned to do this together."

His father looked at him, studying him apparently, but Robin was still thinking out loud and simply went on voicing his thoughts. "Why would Marian's father forbid her to spend time with me? I accompany her home a bit late, sometimes, all right… But it can not be because of that, can it… We always have a good time." Robin's thoughts went further. "I always have to think what to say when I am with her. She is the only one who always seems to know how to answer me back when we speak. It is not small talk with her. She… is my friend."

His father was still looking at him and this time Robin looked him back. "Friends should be allowed to spend time together if the time they spend together is a great time". It was no question, just what he thought.

"It is not so simple".

Robin was on the point of asking 'why?' for the hundredth time when Thornton came and suggested that his master should come to attend to some kind of business. His son was left with a most unclear phrase and the sudden idea that her friend would not come tomorrow painfully filling his head.

…


	3. Chapter 3

Robin had told her he would come early in the morning to Knighton Hall and then go together to the meeting point. She did not want him to come and meet her father and possibly face him. She just wanted this day to be the day they had planned. They would meet the young nobles, speak to them in such a way to make them say what they wanted them to say. To test their loyalty to King Richard.

They were both good at that, they had discovered. Good at using language in various ways. Marian had to admit, Robin was as good as her. She had soon realized she had to study his words when she spoke with him. At the beginning, when she met him, she got mad at him almost every day. Before realizing that most of the time he was just teasing her because it was in his nature. _And I learned how to respond to his teasing words quite skilfully_, Marian smiled.

So, she was ready very early in the morning and waited for him outside her house, so that he did not have to come inside. It was indeed early but it was going to be a sunny day, though still a bit cold, thought Marian, after taking a look at the morning sky.

Sadness came, as she involuntarily thought that it could indeed be the last time she could spend a day with her friend. She shook her head, trying to dismiss this thought. This had to be a good day, they had planned it to be. She was so lost in her thoughts she did not realize he had come.

…

Locksley's young lord saw her outside her house and marvelled. It was even earlier than when he had told her he would come and yet she was there, seemingly waiting for him. _She is worried_, he thought and marvelled again. He could barely see her face but somehow he sensed it. He said that out loud when he was a few meters distant. "You are worried".

Clearly she had not heard him approaching because she started, raising her head.

"Sorry", he smiled.

She shook her head. "Good morning".

He laughed. "It is not morning. Not yet. But you are here…" Robin looked at her. Again she looked worried. Or… sad. _Is she sad? _He had never seen his friend sad. Cheerful, many times, angry at him, even oftener, pondering, feisty… But sad… 

Marian rose to her feet and started walking away from her home.

"Do I have to speak to…"

She interrupted him. "It is ok. We can go". She walked further away.

He caught up with her. They walked silently for a couple of minutes.

Marian took just a brief look at the sky above her head, sighing. She was surprised to spot a small star in the light blue above. The last star of the night. Or… the first star in the morning. Where was this thought coming from? _The first star in the morning… _

He felt he had to do something. He cast a short sidelong glance at the girl next to him and saw she had a long blade and was twisting it in her hands. He saw a tree in a small meadow on one side of the path. He stopped and walked in that direction, saying "come".

Marian was having trouble not letting her conversation with her father upset her. She started again when her friend touched her elbow and told her to come. She saw him sitting under a tree and looked at him uncertain.

"We have to go…"

"There is plenty of time. Come. Sit here. Tell me."

He looked at Marian and waited.

Marian saw that he somehow had understood something was not quite right. He was becoming quite good at understanding her, lately. He anticipated some of her thoughts and she was surprised at this. That a boy could understand her… and even anticipate some of the things she intended to say.

Nonetheless she tried again to say there was nothing that was upsetting her. "Robin, it is all right…"

"Come. Sit here" he repeated.

Sighing again, she approached the tree and sat in front of him. "It is fine…"

"Tell me"

"What?"

"Whatever is bothering you"

"Nothing is bothering me". Marian said, but did not look him in the eye and he knew for certain something was not right.

"I can wait"

"Wait?"

"When you feel like telling me".

She smiled. "You and the verb 'to wait' are just… so incompatible"

"Glad you smile now". She smiled again. One good thing of this friend was this. He could make her smile whenever he wanted to.

"Really, Robin. It is all right. I am all right" she said.

He knew it was not right, she was not right and, despite what Marian had said, he waited until she was ready to acknowledge it.

She sighed. "I do not want this to spoil this day. We have something important to do".

"First things first. What is it?" he repeated.

There was no way she could get away with it. It took her half a minute to say the words. "It seems this could be the last day I can spend with you". Actually saying it was more painful that just the thought of it, Marian noted, biting her lip.

"What?" Robin looked puzzled. Then remembered bits of the conversation he had had with his father only the previous evening and he too bit his lip.

"Why?" he asked next.

"The answer to this seems to be: because I am a girl".

"What?"

"Rules. Some very _pleasant_ rules. I am sixteen and I cannot spend time with… you".

"Why?" Robin was starting to feel quite stupid with all these 'what' and 'why' so he added something. "My father was just telling me something…"

"Your father?"

"He said you would not be allowed to come today… why, Marian? I hate to admit but, I am rather confused".

Robin of Locksley never admitted he had any weaknesses. She smiled briefly, then spoke. "Because according to these much _pleasant_ rules I can not spend time with a young man…" Marian felt slightly embarrassed. She had never felt embarrassed with her friend. "… with you, not anymore. In the _right_ world we live in" she continued grimacing, "I can not spend time with you… I am sixteen and apparently I can not spend time with a friend. I am only allowed to spend time with a man if…" Again she felt slightly embarrassed. "…if he is my betrothed".

"What?" was the reaction of the young man in front of her. He had almost shouted the word.

She looked him then and tried to smile. "You and I are probably the only people on earth who did not know. And who think this is wrong. My reaction was just like yours. I could not believe my father when he told me", Marian remembered. And went on. "We enjoy our time together so why… I mean, _I_ enjoy my time with you but…" she corrected.

"_I_ enjoy my time with you too" he interrupted.

Marian looked her friend. He was serious. She was pleased to hear that.

As Robin was pleased she had said that.

"But this does not matter" she explained. Then stood. "Boys have all the freedom in the world. Girls no freedom at all. It is fair, isn't it?" Marian said, bitter. "My father was clear. Apparently, 'people will talk.' People will judge him if he gives any freedom to me. I have no intention to give in but I have no idea what to…"

He stood as well and interrupted. "This is… it is wrong. You… are my friend".

He had just stated that to his father the day before but somehow, telling her the very thing seemed different now.

Then he asked: "People will talk. What does it mean?"

"I told you"

"Tell me again".

Again, she found it hard to look him in the eye. She had never had this sort of trouble. When Marian spoke, her tone was bitter. "It seems I have reached an age… where I can not spend my time with a young man. People will judge me mostly negative for this. And my father as a consequence. I should now lock myself in my room, I suppose. So that people will say 'Look at Marian, the meek and obedient and silent daughter of the sheriff of Nottingham. She is so quiet. She never speaks when she should not. She enjoys her embroidery in her room..."

"This is nonsense. We are friends. We always have a great time together, doing what we like."

"That is exactly what I told my father."

"Besides, you are no meek. And you hate embroidery." A wink.

They both smiled.

"So true. It seems, Robin", she realized and looked him while saying it "you and I think in the same way, and I am glad. But the rest of the world goes in the opposite direction".

Marian approached the path and after a while they were walking again.

When Robin finally spoke, it was in a soft tone. "The rest of the world is wrong". He looked at Marian.

The girl smiled weakly and then replied: "Please, Robin, as I told you before, I do not want this to ruin the day. Let's not talk about this, shall we. We have a whole day ahead of us. I want to enjoy it".

But despite her own words, during the whole day she found she could not enjoy it knowing that it could be the last.

**Any words of encouragement? ****Or simply your ideas on this? They would be much appreciated, really. :-) Thank you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ehi, you out there, is there anyone? I know there must be someone. **

**I insist. I do not give up. I give you another part. **

**Comments, critics, opinions, are more than welcome! It is important for me to have them. :-)**

…**And now back to our beautiful R&M.**

They reached the meeting point and waited until the young nobles arrived. They settled comfortably in a secluded place not far from the western side of Sherwood Forest. When some of the young nobles gathered there looked at Marian and Nathan of Clun asked what she was doing there among a group of men, Robin did not let the girl answer. He said, placing his fingers on her arm for a few seconds: "Please, let me answer this for you".

He was looking her in the eye. Marian was ready to answer, was not afraid to face those young men and normally she would speak. But there was something in her friend's eyes… _What is it? He seems annoyed by the tone of Nathan of Clun. _She chose to let him speak. She trusted him. She nodded.

"She is Marian. And yes, she is a woman and we are men".

Hearing the word 'woman' Marian felt something inside she could not understand.

"She is clever, and sharp, you will see. Like a man. And more than some men I know."

Marian was mostly impressed. She knew he was referring to many of them, he had never made a secret of the fact that he could not stand most of these people, so indifferent of the needs of their own peasants and villagers as they were.

"She deserves to be a member of this meeting. We are all equals today. The rules our parents have taught us about men and women do not apply today. We are all the same. And we will respect each and every opinion and will listen to everyone."

_Thank…thank you for what you are saying, Robin. I do not know another one who would talk like you are talking now. _

And indeed Marian's contribution to the meeting was not a small one. She questioned them and answered them and her questions and answers were intelligent and smart. Robin smiled at her more than once.

And for the first time Marian asked herself if her friend's smile had always been so bright.

Robin was sure Marian would not be afraid to speak to the noble men. Her questions were clever and she spoke with great determination. _I knew it. Marian is… amazing. Yeah…_

Every now and then, when she was taking a look at Robin or was listening to him speaking she could not help reminding herself that things would be different from now on.

Moments spent with him came back in her memory.

When he had showed her his village, Locksley, for the first time, not long after she had moved and started living in Knighton Hall.

When they had spent two hours in a beautiful spot in Sherwood Forest arguing about something she could not remember and then he had told her she had never known a girl so amazingly exhausting.

When she had called him a fool and he had stared at her for a whole minute because he could not believe this new girl would call him so.

When they had laughed without being able to stop because Much had fallen into Locksley's pond trying to prove that he could emulate his two friends in some arduous performance.

When he had showed her the gift he had with the bow and Robin had looked so surprised afterwards because, yes, she had told him he was great but then had added she would learn and be as good as him one day. He had not said: 'No, you won't. You are just a girl.' He had just smirked that smirk of him.

It seemed it all happened yesterday. Yet, it would never happen again. It was the past.

Nostalgia, Marian thought. I already feel nostalgia for the most simple yet memorable moments I shared with the dearest friend I have ever had. Because he is being taken away from my life. _My deepest nostalgia… who said those words?_

Robin felt Marian was still sad and that she was trying to do her best not to look sad. He wanted to help and tried to make her laugh all day. After all, it was a joy to the heart to see her smile. _A joy to the heart?_ The thought hit him. And he discovered it was true.

…

Just a look and they knew they were thinking the same thing.

Most young nobles had tried to show they were loyal to King Richard but got caught in the many traps Robin and Marian had set while innocently chatting with them. They had realized many of them were pretending. It was not good news, if many of them deep down were not thoroughly loyal to the King. It was actually quite worrying. They would have to deal with this.

They bade them farewell and looked while they got on their horses and left the place one after the other.

…

Marian was not happy to see the sun quickly approaching the horizon. The afternoon was almost over and she had to come home. She sighed and made her way to the path. She felt Robin approaching and sadness was just unbearable.

_He makes me feel good. Even when we argue. I feel alive when we are together... In this world of meaningless rules, where men decide and women can do nothing, I can be myself. He lets me be myself… _

Robin felt she was lost in thoughts. They were always talking together, planning something to do together, or teasing each other, or arguing, he was not used to her silences.

"What are you thinking?" he tried.

She started. "Nothing… Erm… I am just worried, I guess…"

"About what?"

She lied. "The meeting…"

Well, it was not really a lie. She was worried, the meeting had showed many nobles were starting to place their loyalties somewhere else… But her head was now filled with thoughts about her father's words and the idea that her life was about to change. Without her friend, it would change.

"We will deal with it, do not worry."

_Always so confident._

"_You_ will deal with it" she replied, bitterly.

"_We_ will"

"You are forgetting what my father…"

"I am not forgetting anything". He did not let Marian finish. "You asked not to mention this today. I am doing what you asked me".

_Thank you._

She tried to smile. And to be the one who teased. "The first time I ask you something and you actually do it. I am impressed".

He did not say anything but Marian saw he smiled briefly.

There was silence, for a while. Then he repeated: "We. Will. Deal. With. It." in the tone he used when he wanted nobody to contradict him.

And she did not. It was painful, she was somehow sure she could not challenge her father about this, that she could not have the freedom she wanted, but for a while she allowed herself to hope.

Robin could not stand to see her so serious and worried. He was not used to it. Marian was joyful, and proud, and feisty, and bold.

_Believe it, Marian. _

He tried to make her laugh all the way home. And he did. She laughed. Because Robin of Locksley could do anything if he really wanted to.


	5. Chapter 5

The house was only a few yards away.

The walk had been too short. Marian stopped. Things had to be said.

"Robin"

"Mmh?"

_Actually the things I have to say are good things. And you said you wanted this day to be enjoyable. Try to smile, Marian. _

He was struck by the sweetest smile he had ever seen on his friend's face. 

"I need you to listen to me."

_He is so near._ Marian moved slightly back and sighed. "You have never once told me to shut my mouth…."

"Marian, why are you…"

"Let me speak. You do not dismiss me because I am a girl. You listen to what I have to say.

Then…" she tried to smile, though she was actually feeling a great emotion "of course we end up arguing all the time because you always think you are right even when you are not but…" The truth struck her. "You… respect me. You do not treat me differently from the way you behave with a man. The other girls would hate that. Not me. I do not know if you realize how much this has meant to me. If you do not, I am telling you."

Marian took a deep breath and looked the young man in front of her in the eyes. Again, it was not as easy as it used to be. _He is so near._ She narrowed her eyes, angry, thinking it was unfair, just so unfair what her father had said, his _order_.

"It means a lot to me. It means more that you can possibly imagine. Because you are actually the only one who respects me the way I want to."

"Marian…"

"I have not finished. I truly thank you for that. I know that I will soon see a smirk on your face. You so love to be praised…"

"Marian!"

"Do not even try to deny, Robin of Locksley. We both know it is the truth". Marian's heart was thumping in her chest and the girl could not understand why. "I run this risk, though. Because I am not praising you. These were things… that I had to… say. Much as you make me angry most of the time I spend with you, you are my… friend".

_Why 'friend' does not seem the right word now?_

"I would have spent these months bored to death. I was new here. I did not know anybody. The girls here are so… Ouff, I can not stand them. My father wanted me to spend time with them, said they could become my friends… _friends…_ they lead such… useless lives… they do not care for anyone but themselves… Then I met you, and you have made me feel at ease. At home in a new place. I have met the people, the villagers, now I know them. I help them when they are in need, we help them. You have not dismissed me. Thank you, Robin. I am going to miss this."

She swallowed hard, not knowing why it was so hard to speak to him. Perhaps it was this… this… The word she instantly thought of was 'fear'.

_I fear I will be alone now. I hate being alone. I'll hate it. _

Spending time with Robin, even some short hours, was like making the most of each day.

_I fear now it is over. _

Robin had listened carefully and had tried to interrupt the girl a dozen times. He had watched her face showing various emotions in a few minutes.

_She is always my strong Marian… Erm, I mean… my strong friend Marian… We will fight, Marian. It does not matter what your father said. _

When he saw her swallowing he interjected. "I will not allow you to miss this".

The girl looked at him with surprise.

_She looks like a little girl now._

He smiled, as though he knew something she did not know. "There will be nothing to miss." He sensed it was not just surprise. Marian, her bold friend, the girl who was never afraid of anything, was now afraid of something. He took a step closer to her.

_I want to stroke her hair and make her smile again. _

_Stroke… her hair… What? She… is Marian! _

He bit his lip. What was he thinking? Well, there was something else he could do to make her feel better. He did what he could do best. "I would not have so much fun teasing someone else. You are just the best to make fun of. I can not risk losing you".

The girl was looking at him with that proud look of her, now. She shook her head and punched him in the arm. Slightly, though.

Then Robin felt the need to say it again. "I can not risk losing you". But this time it was quieter. And after saying it he knew in astonishment it had a different meaning.

_He is always teasing me…_

However, Marian was grateful. She needed this now. She tried to say something funny, too. She looked up. "Embroidery or a day with Robin of Locksley… Mmh…what would I choose… Sorry, Robin, you will lose me. Bye bye. Embroidery is much more interesting…" she laughed and when he did not she raised her head.

He was surprisingly serious. He was shaking his head. "I won't lose you. I won't allow it".

And this time Marian was not sure he was still teasing.

_I mean it, Marian. I will not lose you. _

Robin was standing in front of her. Yet, she could see beyond him and saw the sky was of a clear light blue. Soon it would be dark. But now, it was clear. And the fear she had felt was mysteriously gone.

_It is him._ Marian thought, astonished. _I was worried. He is somehow making me feel better… The clear sky… the clear sky after the fear to be alone… _Marian could not understand why she was on the verge of tears.

"Things will never be the same" she managed to say.

"They can be better".

_I said it._

Robin was not sure she would understand, he could not understand himself, to be honest, right now. But this could not be the end of… of _them_. They would spend time together, it was just impossible to think this was over. In some way or the other, it had to continue. _Because you are important. _

"Oh. You will not have me around. You say I am exhausting. Now you will have nobody who exhausts you. Yes, I suppose things will be better for you", she said, in a slightly annoyed tone.

_Please, he can not really mean that._

_She thinks I meant I would be fine without her!_

"What? Marian! I did not say that because… ouff!" he snorted.

_I did not mean that!_

"I hope not", she said, very quietly.

"Of course not! I want to spend my time with _you_!" he almost shouted, making Marian suddenly leap.

"I was trying to sound positive. We will sort things out", touching his head, his voice lower now.

Marian was impressed by him. He was always confident that things would sort out the way he wanted.

_He wants our friendship to continue… it seems. _

"How?" _I am not as confident as you._

He bended slightly. Teasing her had always been good to ease the tension. But now, he could not think of any words to tease her. Nothing. Incredibly. And so he said something else. "Marian of Knighton. I will…" _I have to be sure, first._ "Do you want that we spend time together?"

"Yes, but…"

"I will speak to your father." And he headed towards the door.

_What does he want to do?_

"Do not be rush". And to stop him she had to put her hands on his arm and on his chest. He looked at her. She dropped the hands instantly, his gaze so… intense.

_Why are you looking at me like this?_

"Do not act on impulse. We need to think."

" I am the one who always says 'we need to think'!"

"Well, _I _am telling you now" she challenged. Then continued. "I need a few days, to see if I can somehow convince my father..."

"And what am I supposed to do during these _few days_? We had planned things, remember?"

_Of course I remember. That… challenge with the bow you said I was ready for… Then Much is coming back and he will have plenty of things to tell us…_

"I remember".

And then Robin truly believed that things could be better for them. "There is a way"

"Pardon?"

"There is a way" he repeated.

"A way? To do… what?"

"To spend time together. To… be together". _Be together._

"My father was firm. I am too old to 'wander around with a friend', as he says".

"There is a way. You even mentioned it to me."

"Eh? No."

"Yes, you did."

"No!"

"You did."

"Robin, what…"

"Think. You will soon understand. Then, if you want we can think about it, talk about it".

_If you want. What is he saying?_

"I do not understand"

__"You will. And then we will talk. See you soon, Marian" and he started to walk home.

"Robin, I hate when I do not understand, so come here and explain…"

He did come back. And he touched her arm and kissed her long hair.

He had absolutely not planned it.

She absolutely did not expect it. Not in a thousand years.

He was too shocked to look her. He made his way home.

_I do not understand..._

"I do not understand..." she whispered to herself, voicing the thought.

It was painful, seeing him going away. So, she went inside her house.

…

**Please, tell me what you think, if it is good or bad, if it leaves you indifferent, if it gives you any emotion. If it is believable, if it is not. ****If this makes any sense to you. Thanks! :) **


	6. Chapter 6

Once in her bedchamber, she instantly remembered. Near the wall, in a dark corner of the room.

She opened her trunk. It was there. She had put it here months before. She unfolded it. She whispered the words.

You are the first star in the morning

You are my deepest nostalgia

You are the clear sky after the fear to be alone

She stared at the words. _A star, the first star… my deepest nostalgia, the clear sky. _Incredibly, she was feeling calm. As though everything was right.

_But everything is not right. I do not have the permission to spend time with him any more. __Things will never be as they were. How can it be all right? _

The girl remembered she had thought the words were silly, when she had first read them. Now, they could not be more true. _He is all this. _

She rushed to her window. _Maybe I can still see him walking away. _But he had not gone. He was standing there.

Robin knew he had to go. It was almost sunset and he still had quite a long walk home. He had no horse with him. But he just stared at the house. _Marian, come back. There is… there is something I should tell you. _He looked at her window. Many times he had waved her goodbye after accompanying her home.

And then, Marian was at the window. He found he could not say anything. Because he stared at her. And she was beautiful.

_Things will be better. If you want. _He grinned, before turning to leave.

_Oh… He can not possibly think… he is Robin! I am his friend! We are friends! _

_Surely not. We two, we argue all the time. _

_Not today. Today we did not. _

And then she blushed, touching her long curls where he had… And a small incredulous smile appeared on her face, before she turned to go downstairs.

…

**Thank you to those who read (I do not know who you are) and to those who read and reviewed. :-) Thanks! This story ends here. You know how much I like to have opinions, comments, ideas. So if you come across this, it would be lovely if you leave me a message. Thank you. I loved sharing it with you.**

**Fra **


End file.
